(Wrote this a few years ago, but it showed up in my memories)
Woke up with this on my heart, so grab your coffee and sit for a spell.
I spend a great deal of time in conversations with other women, some in a coaching capacity, some at church, and well, the rest of the time because I have an amazing tribe.
This isn’t about any one woman, or myself for that matter, but more food for thought. This also isn’t about or for my 20 something girls. This is about the 40+ women who have seen, experienced, and championed over life. This is mainly for those who are single, but there are some married friends that need the reminder, too.
Dear single ladies:
You have overcome some of life’s most difficult challenges: you’ve cared for aging parents or spouses or buried yours before you should have; you’ve singlehandedly raised your children, your grandkids or raised them alone because your spouse worked, was deployed, passed away or just an ass. You’ve championed over disease, depression, loss, disappointment and bad fad diets. You didn’t just survive that abusive relationship, you picked up your shit and you walked out, knowing damn good and well your Momma didn’t raise you to be treated that way. Or you stayed in the relationship and stayed brave and prayerful that you’d stay alive because the risk of leaving was too great.
You have worked hard for everything you have, not asking for handouts and very rarely asking for help. It wasn’t out of pride, it was to prove to yourself that you could and would do this! You may not have much, but what you do have, you appreciate it even more because you know life isn’t about stuff and God always provided what was needed.
You’ve taken care of your kids, their kids, their friends, your friends. You’ve opened your home and your heart to those in need, giving shelter, nourishment of the body and soul, and a safe haven for all those who wander without any place to set an anchor.
While some see your attention to yourself as vain or self indulgent, such as pedis and manis, treating yourself to a piece of jewelry, regular trips to the salon, a new pair of shoes, a regularly posted SM selfie, you see and know it as self care … nurturing and loving yourself enough to feel good on the outside too.
You have grown to an age where you just really don’t care. And no, I don’t mean your give a damn is broken. I mean, you really don’t care what people think. You don’t care that you’re single and 40+ or 50+ or even 60+ because you know life isn’t about making others happy or fitting into everyone else’s idea of what your life should be like.
You’re a prayerful woman and your faith is stronger than it has ever been and yet, you’re still growing in your walk with God. You know that to be single puts you as the head of the household, but you’re not willing to sacrifice that spot until there’s man willing to chase after God with the same passion and purpose that he chases after you.
You are a passionate woman. You love with your whole heart and you love unconditionally. You accept those around you with all their darkness and brokenness because you carry your own too. You see the good in everyone, hoping one day they see it too, but you don’t take any shit from others, either.
You’ve learned to quit fighting for a place in other’s lives. That doesn’t mean just because you don’t see someone for a while or talk to them, you give up or walk away. It means that no matter what you do, they don’t see the person you’ve worked so hard to become or value the fact that you had to take some time to fight your battles or slay your own dragons.
You are brave, beautiful, brilliant. You’re educated (even if that means at the school of hard knocks), classy, and hard working. You can do a ‘man’s job’ and rock it like there’s no tomorrow. You laugh out loud, you smile at strangers, and you pray for those who don’t like you. You live each day filled with joy and happiness and you do laugh without fear of the future. You are amazing and courageous and looking for and are living a life of purpose and filled with passion.
Peace, love, and pie.