Speechless. That’s how the last 4 days left me. Hardly able to string words together to form a sentence (shock, I know). There are no words in the dictionary to describe the journey, the process, the transformation that occurred on my Walk to Emmaus.
I came home today completely and utterly exhausted physically, mentally “drunk”, emotionally calm (which is EPIC), and spiritually made new. Not renewed…because of things I carried that kept me from accepting and believing God’s unconditional love and blessings over my life (there’s a huge difference in knowing and believing )…but new. I am a new woman with a new heart, spirit, soul and well of courage and faith I’ve never had.
I can’t thank everyone enough for the encouragement, prayers, blessings, and love this weekend and am forever humbled by the seeds that Monte, Tiffany, and Rodney planted in my life as well as mine and Gus’ (Shawn) future and the spiritual healing I received through Jimmy and Momma D (not to be confused with our Mama D).
Here is to a lifetime of fresh starts, agape love, grace (and snort) filled adventures, buttermilk pie, divine appointments, family, and freedom!
Often times, images speak more to me than words do, but this morning’s devotional cut right through my heart: “Our attitudes are an outward display of what’s taking place in our hearts.” Normally, we tend to regard our attitudes as an outward reflection of what is going on in our lives, but very rarely do we stop and consider that our attitudes, actions, AND words are a reflection of what’s going on in our hearts. There is so much hurt in this world – no matter who is at fault or to blame – but I am here to tell you that the healing and joy available to you far outweighs the hurt! James 1:2 says, “dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” It may not feel like it right now, but there is joy to be found. There is light in the darkness. There is healing in the hurt. I’m here to tell you, this is a challenge for me as well. While it is a struggle some days to rejoice IN all things, it is so important to guard our hearts and our words. Hurt people hurt people. Don’t let your attitudes and actions leave a permanent mark of a temporary place you are in. Let love, peace, and joy take root in your heart so that the flowers of your soul blossom.
What a year it has been! People ask where I get my enthusiasm and positive outlook. It comes from waking up each morning knowing God has a bigger purpose for me than I can ever imagine. It comes from knowing that in the darkest times, He’s always been there. You only get so many second chances to truly live your life … so do/be/live/love what makes you happy / sets your soul on fire / makes you feel alive. Live a life full of adventure, stories, love, and laughter! It’s all about choices my friends!
From March 25, 2016:
Other than the day my beautiful girl came into this world, I don’t think I’ve ever cried so many tears of joy. I’ve spent the last two weeks being off FB, which isn’t a bad thing, and it has been time well spent with family and in a state of “RE” – REst, REcuperation, REjuvination, REpurpose.
I received the best news ever this morning. My results from Monday’s procedure came back benign. This is the first time EVERYTHING removed came back benign and the first time in 6 years that there was NO signs of cancer in the polyps.
There are no words to express the love and gratitude for all the love, support, prayers, texts, messages, hand holding (and hair holding as I puked my brains out Sunday and Monday), FB posts (I have the best little sister in the world), and words of comfort. I am truly the most blessed person in the world. God is great!
Real life truth right here: you’ll never BE happy with anyone until you’re happy with yourself. Able to spend time by yourself. Able to be alone. Able to look in the mirror, with all your flaws, stretch marks, scars (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual ), and speak kindly to yourself. You’ll never be happy until you finally realize that happiness is not a life void of trials and tribulations but one that is full of faith, grace, and choice. It is only when you allow healing to occur and gratitude to reign that you will be truly happy and will attract like minded people into your life. That’s when you can be with someone who feeds your happiness and helps it grow.