A Spiritual Revolution

Back in October of 2014, my SIC (sister in Christ and fellow junker/squirrel/snorter/wine drinker/ lover of all things western and |SR| related) sent this to me in the middle of the night. I asked if I could share it on the website. Since I have taken the site down and starting fresh, I’m sharing it again. Tiffany has such a tender heart for Christ and when she sends me something in the middle of the night, I know it is because she and Jesus have been up talking about it for some time. She called me this last weekend asking for the link because there was someone she felt who needed to read it. Reading it again, I think there are a number of people, including myself, who needed the reminder. I hope that you find something in her story to soothe your own heart, troubles, and/or pain.

So in one of my odd sleepless nights at 3 am, I was scanning Facebook trying to go back to sleep.  I stumbled across a story titled “Bucket List Baby”, so I read on.  This was a story about a young couple that discovered early on in their pregnancy, first one, that their baby would only develop a tiny brain, if one at all.  This baby will not have a developed skull on the top, basically because it will have no brain.  The baby cannot survive without a brain.  So this couple, with tons of love and faith in the Lord, decided to make a bucket list for their baby.  They traveled all kinds of cute places, taking photos of Mom’s belly, all throughout the pregnancy.  When it was discovered it was a boy, they name him Shane.  So baby Shane went to a Yankee game, a zoo, the beach, and so on.  At beginning of Fall, they painted Mom’s belly as a pumpkin.  The tried to video every time Shane moved in her belly and noted all of his hiccups, and random activity/habits.  I read every posting.  I couldn’t put it away.  Then I realized I was reading at the exact time she was in delivery.  I was being inspired by their faith in God, at the exact moment this woman was delivering a baby, she will only get to hold for a few hours.  The emotion was overwhelming for me.  I was in shock but I wasn’t crying – I was happy for them.  Why I thought?  This Bucket list Baby had over ½ million people following and praying for Baby Shane.  That in alone was astonishing to me – ½ MILLION PEOPLE – PRAYING!  You don’t hear about that on the news!  That is when God’s words started popping in my head – “He created us in the womb” Job 31:15, “He fashioned us in the womb” Psalm 127:3.  “Children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”

I was learning so much more about God while this couple was delivering their baby.  God made a brainless baby a Saint!  He used the “strong heart” (doctors stated Shane had a strong heart) of this baby to fill his parents completely with the Holy Spirit and spread their faith to ½ MILLION PEOPLE!  WOW – these parents were so excited to get to have this baby.  They called Shane a perfect miracle.  Shane lived 4 hours.  He met every member of his family.  He was baptized. He cried.  He died peacefully in his mom’s arms.

Some people would say, “Why did God let his happen?”  “If God was so good, why does he let bad things happen?”

My answer is – Look at this example – God took a brainless baby and reached over ½ Million people in a matter of months.  Through our world of highly educated people, we can’t teach that many people in that short amount of time.  Our brains can’t handle it.  I now truly believe our brains get in the way of our relationship with the Lord.  All we need is a strong heart, full of love. “But now abide faith, hope, love these three; AND the greatest of these is Love!”  When you read Baby Shane’s story, that is the biggest thing you see is LOVE!  They loved each other, they loved their baby, and they loved God most of all.  Yes sad things happen here on earth but we may not always see the big picture of Why.  God will reveal it to us someday – Just keep a strong heart of love!

“And so you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive”  Genesis 50:20 “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them” Matthew 18:20

This baby Shane could have brought evil through depression, anger, resentment etc BUT God used it for good – to let his light shine through!  Shine through to over ½ million people.  Facebook can be used for evil daily, hourly BUT God used it for good – to share the love of Jesus, to over ½ million people.  You can’t tell me that isn’t church – we were gathered around this couple all over the world praying and thanking God for their faith & showing us the love of the Holy Spirit.  It says two or three gathered in my name – OVER ½ MILLION people were gathered through this journey, in the Lord’s name.

We are in a spiritual revolution.  Church is no longer just 4 walls – really it never was but now because of digital media – people are gathering in His name across religion, denominations, and nationality boundaries.  We can change the world – even a brainless baby named Shane knows that.  Thank you Jesus –

DeColores – Tiffany


I started this post back in July, after standing on the hilltop looking across hundreds and hundreds of acres of west Texas and what truly is God’s country, and since then, got a little derailed, so bear with me as I try to regain my thoughts:

I knew that going into counseling (as a practitioner) one draw-back was forgetting your own self-care, but they failed to mention the same happens as a coach. I spend so much of time lifting others up, helping them realize their potential, the unconditional love God has for them, setting goals, letting go of their past and embracing their future, that I sometimes forget to show myself the same kindness, support, encouragement and Christ-like love.  There have been some struggles this year, professionally and personally, and it seems the deeper you get in your walk with God, the harde14520576_1205542356168713_2965798893489451672_nr the enemy tries to pull you back to places of discourse, discouragement, and darkness. Current situations coupled with reminders of past mistakes, failures, or who you used to be or who you didn’t live up to be are around every corner.

Nothing – at least in my book – can remind you of God’s goodness and promise over your life and how unconditionally loved you are and how he delights in you like standing on a hill overlooking the landscape
untouched by mankind, being able to see to what feels like eternity. It is then that a quiet peace comes over you and there is a gentle whisper in the not so cool summer breeze reminding you to stop fighting a fight that’s already been won, to quit seeking approval, to remember to rejoice in the fact, that no matter what, love abounds just for you and only you just because you are you. As I sit here writing this, one of my most favorite songs comes on and I am brought to my knees in tears with a whole new understanding and calming of my spirit:

Redeemed by Big Daddy Weave (https://youtu.be/VzGAYNKDyIU)

Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me “son
Stop fighting a fight it’s already been won”

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I’m redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, “Child lift up your head”
I remember, oh God, You’re not done with me yet

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be

Because I don’t have to be the old man inside of me
‘Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I’ve got a new name, a new life, I’m not the same
And a hope that will carry me home

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, ’cause I’m not who I used to be

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, yeah, I’m not who I used to be
Oh, God, I’m not who I used to be
Jesus, I’m not who I used to be
‘Cause I am redeemed
Thank God, redeemed

I have lived with, and overcome (or God is leading me on the way to be an overcomer), all by the grace of God: disease, depression, domestic abuse, physical violence, death, darkness, debt, and demons (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually). I grew up in a God fearing home, in a church attending community, and attended a private school. You’d think I would have had a little better grasp on God’s unfailing mercy, grace, and unconditional love. Oh hell, not even close. Quite the contrary. Because of things that happened in my life, whether I was at fault or not, I, like many others, suffered from a lack of self-worth, self-love, and completely believed that God didn’t even know I existed. And if he did look down on me, I couldn’t bring myself to make eye-contact with him. It wasn’t until a few years ago, all of that changed.

It took a physical encounter (thanks to Pastor Duane, my brother from another mother, Shawn, and Dusty) and LITERALLY being thrown (Shawn will say ‘tossed’) to the ground to come face to face with God’s love for me. That jolt that morning quieted everything in my heart, soul, mind and spirit – every bad and ugly word spoken to me or over me and every attack against me (physical, emotional, spiritual, or otherwise). For the very first time in my life, I heard and felt God’s unconditional, unmerited grace and love for me. Tears flooded my face like a west Texas summer storm floods the parched ground. It was in that very moment that I came to understand what redemption meant. And for the first time ever, I felt whole, complete, restored, admired, rejoiced in, loved, and cherished.

When I share about my faith online, it’s not so people say, “oh look at her, isn’t she cute with her faith and scriptures and quotes.” It’s because I’ve seen the ugly side of life. It’s not pretty. It hurts. The wounds run deep and wide. Often times when I share something, it’s because at 3 a.m. in the morning, I’m laying in bed, wondering just how I’m going to make it through this or that, how am I going to help someone I love who is in need, suffering, hurting, or even just find the energy to face the day. It is then that I’m reminded that these mountains I’m facing are not ones to carry, but to climb over. Ones in which I am to remain faithful, to calm myself and feel His presence, to trust in His timing, to let Him be the protector, the provider, the warrior, and the loving, kind, caring, compassionate father He is. It is those moments I remember that I am restored. I am rejoiced in. I am redeemed. I have been made whole.  It’s not that tough times won’t strike or doubt and worry and everything in between won’t try and take over again, it just means that there is nothing – or no one- that can take who I am in him and to him away from me.

My reminder for you today – whoever you are, wherever you are – is that YOU are rejoiced in – just the way you are. You are perfect. Your laugh, your smile, your tough exterior, your quiet nature, your vivacious spirit. You were made to be you to change the world around you. YOU are loved. There is NOTHING that you have done, survived, said, or witnessed that can change His love for you. When you come to not only realize that, but live in that, I promise you that you find a sense of peace and an overwhelming sense of love like never before. My wish for you today is that you lay down everything that is not from him – if it is not wrapped in promise, peace, joy, and happiness, TOSS. IT. OUT. THE. WINDOW! My hope for you today is that you find and hold on to peace. To joy. To the promise that the best of the rest of your life is ahead of you.

Live, love, and believe BIG.


Put Up or Shut Up

I’ve been trying to write this post since April 8th when I found myself sitting in the shower, with the pounding hot water covering the tears that streamed down my face. See, when it rains, it pours. At least that’s our prayer here in Texas. Scratch that…since I started this post, we’ve had our fair share of rain – we’ve all chipped in and sent Mother Nature a 6 month PX of Prozac. But…back on point…. I’m not even going to get into all the details, because you wouldn’t believe me any way, but let’s just say the roller coaster ride of 2016 started in December 2015 one cold night when we broke down in the middle of an intersection. At 2 a.m. Off of 28th street in Fort Worth. Let me just say, I sold cemetery lots in south El Paso and that night had me more scared than being a ginger in the barrio. Anyway, I digress. Again.

I’ll never be able to write the flood of words that have washed through my mind and filtered through my heart and soul, but it goes something like this:

  • Awaken the wild woman in you – she has been asleep too long.
  • Love your heart out, but take no shit (The Better Man Project). 
  • I’m in the process of becoming the best version of myself.
  • God doesn’t want me to be a ‘fix them’ woman – He wants me to be a ‘love them’ woman (adapted from Lysa Terkeurst).
  • There are some things the heart knows that the mind will never be able to understand (The Better Man Project).
  • Build someone up. Put their insecurities to sleep. Remind them they’re worthy. Tell them they’re magical. Be light in a too often dim world.
  • It’s a beautiful thing to have someone see you as you are – but it’s pure magic when someone can show you who you could be (The Better Man Project).
  • Be badass.
  • When you hold on to your history, you do it at the expense of your destiny (Bishop T.D. Jakes).
  • She had a wild, wandering soul but when she loved, she loved with chaos and that made all the difference (Ariana).
  • I was made to be wild, wicked and free, to carve out my own crazy destiny, to find a place in this world where I can be the most authentic version of me (Christy Ann Martine).
  • It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are (EE Cummings).
  • Like wildflowers, you must allow yourself to grow in all the places people thought you never would.
  • You are entirely up to you.
  • Don’t ever let anyone dull your redhead sparkle.

Okay, you get the point. I could write my entire life memoir with memes and quotes (and I spent the greater part of this morning doing just that), but those are just a few of the ones that have really resonated lately. Most of y’all know that I’ve dabbled at stepping out in faith to fulfill the passion and purpose that God has put on my heart and I’ve always backed down. My Momma wasn’t lying when she said I was a pansy ass when I was little. I’ve always been afraid of my own shadow, the sound of my voice out loud, and the dark (yes, I have taken my 9 mm with me when taking out the trash). Until recently. Cuz ya know what’s at rock bottom? Lots of shadows and darkness and the only way up is to use your voice – and to ask for help. Something I’ve always struggled with. And something I was finally forced to do.

So, I’ve realized that no matter what plans I have, God has something bigger, more powerful, more life changing and it has more to do with purpose. It really doesn’t matter WHERE you are at (literally or figuratively), there comes a time when you just have to chuck it all in the f…faith bucket (what did you think I was going to say?) and say, “God, I’m done. I’m tired. I’m not capable of making this on my own and I’m worn out from making this about myself. So here you go. I’m yours. Lock, stock and barrel. Heart, mind, soul, spirit. Do with me what you wish.” And it is that deafening silence that will scare. you. sh…silly.

You know what He told me? Actually whispered softly so as not to disturb my one (wo)man pity party…

Your playing small does not serve the world.

And just in case I wasn’t listening or didn’t believe Him, he pulled in reinforcement…yep, you guessed it…the one person who most closely resembles my Momma in spirit and words, my partner in crime and fellow squirrel. There was a small envelope in the mail, no note, just a dish towel (hey, it’s how we roll in this family) that read:

when she finally stopped caring what others thought, she soared

Everyone…okay, a small group of dedicated, crazy, passionate, unconditional peeps…have been very patient as I tried to figure out what all the open doors (that started flying open this spring) meant. Do I go through? Do I wait for an invitation? Do I make a decorative wreath to hang? Will they slam shut? Are they storm resistant? Will my furniture and all my junk (and I don’t mean what’s in my trunk) fit? And then it hit me, they don’t really mean ANYTHING other than just shut the hell up, be faithful and believe. Believe in the good, the grace, the unconditional love, the journey, the people, the light, and most importantly…believe in yourself and God’s promises over your life.

I have no idea where this blog will go, but I’ve been asked time and time again to please start it back up, so here we go. It will not be like anything in the past because that just didn’t work for me. Y’all know I don’t do well with constraints placed on me by other people. I need to be surrounded by wide open minds, hearts, spirits and spaces. So I hope you enjoy. I hope you join in. I hope you find your door and blaze through that sucker like Christmas morning …or your favorite chocolate cake… is waiting on the other side.


Love always,

She had a gypsy soul and a warrior spirit. She made no apologies for her wild heart. She left normal and regular to explore the outskirts of magical and extraordinary. And she was glorious (Michelle Rose Gilman).